The woman is taught from girlhood to be modest, retiring and obedient as daughter and wife, and as a rule she is. She is almost certain to avoid spinsterhood, so well-planned is the marriage machinery in Japan. Courtship is unknown as we know it. The bringing about of marriages is regularly the work of a private go-between, who brings the young people together after the parents on both sides, with additional precautionary inquisitorial go-betweens, have agreed to a proposed match. Thus girls often select their husbands unknown to the bridegroom himself, for the selection is usually supposed to be and usually is the result of the go-between's astute observation, the initiative coming from one or the other of the parents, who says in effect, "Pray you, good friend, find a spouse for my daughter--or son" as the case may be. In this way even a young man or young woman has a small purse or a bodily defect some one equally short in cash or corporal perfection is found and the thing is done. The young people meet at a theater or feast; they chat gingerly with each other and final consent is given. No courtship and absolutely no kissing!
The house is so different from ours. Nothing can surpass--I would almost say, approach--the spotlessness of a Japanese home of the better class, but you must think of a summer pavillion to get an idea of how a private house in Tokyo differs from an American or European house. It does not stand on the street, but backs from it behind a wall with a simple gate or gate and portico in the center. Then there is a house portico and an open door under it. Nowdays there is an electric bell to summon the servant, who appears on her knees with bowed head to take your message and your card. There are usually some flowers or greenery in front, but the garden is at the back. The house is built of wood on a brick or stone foundation, and its rooms through the use of sliding doors or "fusumas" may be opened.
A Japanese picture is not painted simply for the sake of representative effect; it is part of the decorative scheme. A Japanese never shows more than one picture or one set of pictures at a time. If he has a large collection, he keeps them in his fireproof storeroom, and gives to each in turn a temporary place in the alcove recess. As it hangs there the eye must find equal pleasure in regarding it from every part of the room.
Tea service is a solemn rite, time-honored and royal. It is the test of elegance, of quiet dignity and repose. Gentle courtesy and exquisite compliment are implied in the decorum of the elaborate tea service, which was amplified and emphasized by the old emperors. Incidentally, drinking is no silent art among the Japanese, and noisy swallowing is perfectly consistent with propriety.
Japan has often been called the paradise of children--everywhere chubby smiling infants on backs of mothers, sisters, or brothers, everywhere free-limbed merry boys of school age in peaked caps, long blue-white speckled blouses, and schoolgirls in light-toned kimonos with gay-colored obi along the streets.